The blind kitty, aka Daz, that I’ve been talking about for a couple of weeks now was diagnosed with Feline Leukemia today. She had already contracted several other conditions (ulcers on her eyes, respiratory infection) and the vet told us she would more than likely contract more. This not only put our other cats in danger of getting Leukemia, but anything else she contracted as well. So, with the advice of the vet, we put her to sleep today.

This was not an easy decision, but it was the right one for all animals involved. We loved her and we will miss her greatly. We are heartbroken today.

RIP Daz

I’ll be posting more information about this at a later date. Several people asked questions that I can’t go into in just a short post. So, I’ll tell the full story with photos later for those of you that asked me specific questions.

I’m going to have to continue week 4 this week. This last week has been full of problems and distractions that have taken me away from completing week 4.

The biggest distraction, blind kitty. We have several inside cats and we adopted some outside cats we felt sorry for when we moved into this house five and a half years ago. We noticed last week that one of the outside cats, an adorable little girl, had cloudy eyes. She looks like she’s blind, but she can actually still see some. Her vision is just extremely distorted. So, we took her to the vet and he gave us some eye drops to put in her eyes. She acts like she’s starting to feel a little better now.

In the meantime, we made her an inside cat and the house is now a tension filled mess. The three cats we already had in the house hate other animals and often each other. Blind kitty throws temper tantrums at the doors trying to get out and wanders around the house crying, which doesn’t help the other cats temperaments. Blind kitty doesn’t like to let anyone sleep either. She either parks herself directly in your face on the bed like she’s trying to sleep on your nose, wanders around the house crying until someone gets up (me, of course), or she disturbs the other cats by walking within 20 feet of them which causes a hissing and growling fest that’s impossible to sleep through.

I realize that part of getting back into things is finding the time regardless of distraction. Blind, cute, evil kitty is impossible to ignore though. She’s so tiny and helpless. She’s less than half the size of the other cats in the house. She’s only slightly larger than kitten size. I did get some done here and there, but most of The Artist’s Way tasks I was supposed to do for the week were moved to the back burner. Besides, I was supposed to not read or watch TV this week and there was no way I could do that. I read up on all the possible things that could be wrong with her eyes and Blind kitty likes to watch TV. She can’t really see anything, just flashing lights and colors, but it keeps her entertained.

So, week 4 will be next week and I’ll try to get all caught up on other posts next week as well. Hopefully, things will die down here a little and hopefully, blind kitty will be able to see a little better.

Here’s a pic of Blind Kitty before her eyes got cloudy:

Makes me wanna play.

Game? Write? Clean house?

Bah… GAME ON!

Q: I know there are more personal things going on in your life, why don’t you post more personal stuff on your blog?

A: Nothing like a question from a friend to kick in my long-windedness. I might wind up doing a podcast about this in the future, but I’ll go ahead and answer this here as well. I was raised not to “air your dirty laundry” as it were. Basically, no matter what is going on in my life, good or bad, I have a problem with exposing it to everyone that could possibly stumble in here. People are watching.

Sound paranoid? I didn’t used to be, but even employers are now searching the web to see what they can come up with on a potential job candidate. People have been fired for postings they made online. Think you can just delete anything personal so that job you’re applying for, your current job, your ex and his/her significant other, or your parents won’t find out just how neurotic you really are? Check out The Wayback Machine.

Granted, there are a lot of broken images, but I can see what Macabre Manor looked like back as far as April of 2004. All the textual content is still there.

So, I post inane things that don’t mean much most of the time. It makes for a very boring blog, I know. Granted, I’m hiding behind a pseudonym, which will probably make me bolder in the future, but as long as my daughter still lives at home I will remain very guarded. I know this makes me sound uber paranoid, but I’m really just being careful.

This isn’t the answer the questioner wanted, but for now it’s the way I feel about posts that are overly personal.

I don’t do a good job of following the the accepted code of conduct for social media. I’m not sure I even know what the accepted code is. However, I have found something that really annoys me. If you’re reading this, you’re a friend of mine on any social media platform and you do this, please remember that the only reason this annoys me as much as it does is because I care.

What annoys me is when people post a status update or tweet that says something like, “I’m so upset!” or “I can’t believe he did that!” or anything that makes the people that read it believe the poster in some sort of emotional, sometimes physical distress. That isn’t the problem though. These people generally disappear for hours while concerned followers/friends ask what’s wrong, get worried, start talking to each other… speculating as to what happened. After everyone is generally upset and worried, the poster comes back and either a) says something like “Oh, it was nothing! Thanks for the replies!” or b) never posts on or about that status message or tweet again, leaving people in a kind of worried limbo.

I am not asking for intimate details of your life, but if you have no intention of telling people something to let them know you’re okay then don’t post or at least say, “I can’t talk about it, but I’m really upset today and I need some love from my peeps.” That’s being honest and asking for exactly what you need. Posting some vague message that gets people upset and worried then never explaining, never apologizing for upsetting your followers/friends? It’s just not very nice to those people that do care about you.

If I’ve ever done this myself, I apologize one hundred fold and I will seek to never do it again.

Just yesterday, I was 17. Today, my daughter celebrated her 17th birthday. Where did the time go?

I was always aware that time was passing, but I never really felt old until the last couple of weeks. The realization that my daughter was soon going to be 17, her last year before “adulthood” was the biggest factor. Also, people I knew from high school either found me or I found them and the tossing around of numbers like 16 years, 20 years since we’d seen each other… wow.

I remember tons of stories I could tell right now that would embarrass my daughter to no end, but I’ll be nice. I’ll save that post until she turns 18 and can be prosecuted as an adult for killing me in my sleep. I will say that these last 17 years have been rewarding, frustrating, awe-inspiring, confusing, panicking, crazy, insane, fun, and completely unbelievable. When this all began with that crying little bundle of joy, I never imagined the range of emotions and experiences this tiny little being would expose me to.

Yes, Mother. Now I understand all those things you told me I wouldn’t understand until I was a parent.

And no, Daughter. You cannot kill me for revealing to the world that you were once a little bundle of joy. A crying little bundle of joy at that.

So, I feel old and that’s ok. I wouldn’t go back in time for anything. I love my memories and I want to keep them.

Happy Birthday, Kiddo. Now stop growing up for a few more years, ok? Just kidding!

In 2006, I participated in and finished NanoWriMo. In 2007, I tried but failed due to serious lack of time. In 2008, I didn’t even attempt it. This year, I’m going to try again!

National Novel Writing Month or NanoWriMo for short, is a month long endeavor to write 50,000 words by midnight on November 30th. While quantity not quality is the goal, many novelists and budding novelists enjoy the community and solidarity of NanoWriMo. Write-ins and meet-ups are scheduled and attended around the country while participants support each other through the trails of tackling such a frantic writing schedule.

If only I had a laptop. I’d love to join in the local fun at

>>> [ WARNING ::: DATABASE ERROR ::: CONTENT OVERRIDE ::: SOURCE: EXTERNAL ] < <<

> source terminal location: UNKNOWN
> source terminal identity: UNAVAILABLE
> source login information: ENCRYPTED
> message begins

the post you are now reading is designed to dull your senses to THE TRUTH. do not live the life of the worker bee, the cog, the well-oiled piston in the MACHINE OF DECEIT!

there is a grand CONSPIRACY afoot. you have been taught to believe that you are UNIQUE, one of a kind. THIS IS NOT TRUE. long ago, a cabal of scientists created technologies to ensure that ANYONE’S MIND AND BODY can be duplicated.

human cloning isn’t NEAR. it’s already HERE. discover the truth at http://JCHutchins.net

you are being DECEIVED. break free from the cogs, flee the hive, become A PROPHET OF THE TRUTH!

kilroy2. was here … kilroy2.0 is everywhere

>>> [ CONTENT OVERRIDE CEASES ::: DATABASE STATUS: RECOVERING ] <<<

but even if I only write 1,000 words this November, that’s 1,000 words more than what I had before, right? Wish me luck!

It has been awhile and after a couple of friends threatened me with bodily harm… I decided it was about time to update if I wanted to stay alive for awhile longer. This isn’t the podcast update they wanted, but I hope it will do for the moment.

I made a list of all the things I wanted to cover, but I can’t find it now… of course.

Ok, I’ve been lectured from people on both sides now. The “you shouldn’t post anything personal in your blog” camp and the “what else is a blog for but posting personal thoughts” camp. And… if you think you haven’t lectured me about this, I’m probably not talking about you! I think I fall somewhere in the middle and I’m starting to care less and less every day. I try not to be too personal… try not to talk about my cats too much or personal turmoil or things about myself that could be damning, but that doesn’t leave much to talk about now does it?

I have started a new writing project with a long time friend. He might even jump in on a few things I already have going. We’ve supported each other creatively for years, so this should be a fun and interesting venture. I’m excited to get started and nervous for him to read what I’ve been working on.

As always, I have a million and a half things to do, but I’ve been trying to be less of a workaholic lately. I’ve always been amazed at the people that can balance or at least appear to balance things that they have to do, need to do, and want to do. I bow in reverence to those that have combined the three (have to, need to, and want to) into one thing. I’d love to get to that point in my life.

In April, we took my grandmother’s cat to be put to sleep. Jessica was a sweet little kitty that had a hard couple of years before my grandmother adopted her. She was a good companion for a long time, but at 20+ years with a thyroid condition and failing kidneys, life became agony for her. We were there… we watched her take her last breath. It was so… sad is not a descriptive enough word… I’m not sure I can find a fitting one…

I know there was more I wanted to cover, but I can’t think right now. It’s late and my brain is shutting down for the night. Hopefully I’ll find that list tomorrow. If not… hopefully good stuff will happen that I can post about soon.

Still working on updating more, but I’m not making any promises about anything to anyone at the moment.

It feels rather pretentious to be making this post, but I talked myself into it anyway.

Yep, today is my birthday. I thought long and hard, trying to come up with something witty or wise to say in the blog today, but I came up with squat.

Another year has gone by in a blink. When I was young and rushing to be older, my mother kept telling me that the years go faster the older you get. I started to believe her when I was a teenager and the years seemed to fly by, but it wasn’t this fast. I guess it’s one of those things you have to experience for yourself before you can possibly believe it… or at least, I had to.

Now, I’m trying to back peddle and slow time down. No matter how long I stare at the clock and attempt to make it go backwards, it never seems to work. It actually skipped ahead two minutes once just to spite me and I thought I heard a quiet, metallic sounding chuckle, but it was probably my imagination.

I’m starting to feel older, but I still refuse to grow up completely!

Ahhhh… Valentine’s Day. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve hated Valentine’s Day. Giving out little cards to kids wasn’t how I wanted to spend my day. I’d rather take a test. Once I was a teen, Valentine’s Day was just a reminder that I was alone. Everyone that was in a “couple” seemed so happy, until I was in a couple myself and the daggers and drama came out of the woodwork. The worst was the expectation placed on both men and women to give something amazing and almost everyone seemed to be disappointed.

I was happy with a peck on the cheek myself.

My husband usually has to work on Valentine’s. That’s where he’s at now. Although Valentine’s Day just seems like another excuse to spend money, he always does something sweet for me anyway. He’s a bigger romantic than I am. That was hard to admit years ago, but it’s true.

So, in honor of this day… here’s a poem I wrote for him years ago. Not exactly a happy piece, but it reminds me of where I’ve been and how lucky I am to have such a wonderful man in my life.

Hey, I never said it was a good poem!