So I’m back on track now after playing catch up. I did my brain dump pages five out of the seven days. I find that if I don’t do them soon after I wake up in the morning, I find other things I need to do more that prevent me from doing them. Then, by the time I get around to writing the brain dump pages, I’m running low on writing time for the day so it’s the only thing I get accomplished.

I had a conversation with a friend not too long ago about “chasing rabbits.” Chasing rabbits is where you start to do something, then get distracted by something else and something else and something else until all you’ve haven’t gotten anything accomplished. Not only do I suffer from pouring myself into one thing, I also suffer from chasing rabbits. Sometimes, if I don’t remain focused, I’ll sit down to write and remember that I need to start a load of laundry. So, I start sorting laundry and remember that I need to make a grocery list so I can go to the store later. Half done sorting the laundry and in the middle of making out a grocery list, I’ll remember that I need to call my mom about something. An hour later, when I get off the phone usually forgetting what I called about in the first place, I remember that I need to pull the meat for dinner out of the freezer. On the way to the kitchen, I see a present from one of the cats in the form of a hair ball and clean it up, completely forgetting about the meat until it’s time to make dinner. And so on and so on. In this example, out of the five things I was sidetracked with, I only got one accomplished. I cleaned up the hair ball.

It doesn’t happen all the time, but it seems I usually do one extreme or the other. I either get really focused on one thing or I become completely unfocused and accomplish nothing. So where’s the happy medium? I’ve tried making a schedule, but that never works out. Things always take more or less time and something always happens to completely invalidate the schedule. I’m just not good at adjusting when things I didn’t schedule for are thrown in my path, I guess. I’m still working on how to fix this. I need to get into some kind of routine and stick with it somehow. I’m going to have to force myself into one even if it means leaving the house to write where I cannot be distracted by other things I need to do. The only problem with that is my laptop doesn’t have a very long battery life. If I can do it for just an hour and a half every day, maybe I can start to condition myself to a happy medium where I don’t work too long on one thing and I don’t get distracted thus accomplishing nothing. If anyone else has had these problems and solutions that worked for them, please let me know.

This week was reading deprivation week. This is an excellent exercise, but I’d have to argue with the author of The Artist’s Way that anyone can go for a week without reading. College assignments, work duties be damned! Any creative can creatively wriggle out of reading for a week? I’m sorry, but not completely. Not in this day and age. I did manage to cut it to a minimum. I didn’t feel one bit bad about not completely cutting out reading because I have to read to answer emails and fill orders if nothing else. It wasn’t easy, but without the distraction of reading, my own imagination jumped into overdrive within a couple of days. I made some large strides in the plot of one of the projects I was working on and it was exciting.

I understand now why many of the tasks in The Artist’s Way feel like a waste of time for me. I didn’t really need help with creativity, I needed help managing my time and getting my butt into the chair. Doing these exercises will help further down the road and so I keep doing them even though I’m itching to pour more time into the projects I’m actively working on. The biggest thing I need help with only actively writing can fix. I need to get better at writing again. I need to be at the point I was ten years ago and then surpass it. I can only do that by writing and writing and writing.

I made the mistake of showing a few people what I was working on even though The Artist’s Way explicitly says not to at this stage. It didn’t matter what those people said about what they read. Some of them were positive and some of them were critical, but I wasn’t to the point where I was comfortable enough and confident enough to really show anyone. I started feeling self-conscious before I ever received a response back. I wished I hadn’t done it. I will not make that mistake again, but hopefully I’ll know when I’m ready.

A blinding light shines from behind his deeming eyes.
I bear my claws, attempting to sway him from attack.
Unsuccessful.
Wielding his scythe above his head, the lifeless, turbulent man steps
towards me and stops.
“I dare you!” I shout into the barren night.
With one swift motion his scythe cuts through the thick blackness
and rips into my hollow chest.
Dropping the scythe, he forces his hand through my cavity to seize my
dying heart.
Suspending it in front of me, he laughs demonically and says, “I wanted to
touch that which only I could have broken.”
Returning my shriveled heart to my chest, he heals my wounds with loving
words, soft kisses, and a gentle embrace.
Someday he will be the death of me.

~Kryson

Finally out of research mode with KEM this week. I’ll still need to dive back into the research from time to time while I’m writing, but I was stalling actually starting by researching much more than I really needed to. I haven’t gotten much done yet, but progress is progress. 721 words is 721 words I didn’t have yesterday.

SPD has been sitting idle all summer and it felt good to get back to it. I was a little lost after letting it sit for so long, but I’m back in the swing of things now. I have a long way to go, but I’m anticipating a fun ride getting there. Still working out a good way to track characters and I’m appreciating what writers for a series must have to deal with while trying to keep what happened in the past straight.

I’m trying to stick with just these two projects for now and not start any new ones. I have a tendency to start new project after new project, which means I have one I’m dying to start, of course.

So, a small bit of progress over this last week. But, it’s progress and I’ll take any forward movement I can get.

I’m going to have to continue week 4 this week. This last week has been full of problems and distractions that have taken me away from completing week 4.

The biggest distraction, blind kitty. We have several inside cats and we adopted some outside cats we felt sorry for when we moved into this house five and a half years ago. We noticed last week that one of the outside cats, an adorable little girl, had cloudy eyes. She looks like she’s blind, but she can actually still see some. Her vision is just extremely distorted. So, we took her to the vet and he gave us some eye drops to put in her eyes. She acts like she’s starting to feel a little better now.

In the meantime, we made her an inside cat and the house is now a tension filled mess. The three cats we already had in the house hate other animals and often each other. Blind kitty throws temper tantrums at the doors trying to get out and wanders around the house crying, which doesn’t help the other cats temperaments. Blind kitty doesn’t like to let anyone sleep either. She either parks herself directly in your face on the bed like she’s trying to sleep on your nose, wanders around the house crying until someone gets up (me, of course), or she disturbs the other cats by walking within 20 feet of them which causes a hissing and growling fest that’s impossible to sleep through.

I realize that part of getting back into things is finding the time regardless of distraction. Blind, cute, evil kitty is impossible to ignore though. She’s so tiny and helpless. She’s less than half the size of the other cats in the house. She’s only slightly larger than kitten size. I did get some done here and there, but most of The Artist’s Way tasks I was supposed to do for the week were moved to the back burner. Besides, I was supposed to not read or watch TV this week and there was no way I could do that. I read up on all the possible things that could be wrong with her eyes and Blind kitty likes to watch TV. She can’t really see anything, just flashing lights and colors, but it keeps her entertained.

So, week 4 will be next week and I’ll try to get all caught up on other posts next week as well. Hopefully, things will die down here a little and hopefully, blind kitty will be able to see a little better.

Here’s a pic of Blind Kitty before her eyes got cloudy:

Trapped within the world I have created,
I hunger for only you.
The pain of desire, overwhelming.
Blood filled tears stain my aged face.
I would sprout wings and fly, but I cannot
for I am a cat prowling the night for my
next victim.
When I try to love, I only devour.

~Kryson

I’m going to be posting bits and pieces of old stories and poetry I find on my HD or in files at the back of my file cabinets from time to time. Most of these are from round robins, author duels, or fan fic from years passed. I found myself keeping them not only because I was enjoying myself, but because they were written during a time when I had the most support I had ever experienced when it came to my writing.

These will be raw postings, so don’t be surprised if they’re chalked full of every error and no-no imaginable. You never know how old some of these pieces are, so some of them might be absolutely terrible. I might do something with these in the future… but for now, they are a nostalgic look into the past for me and I hope at least moderately enjoyable for you.

I did my brain dump pages five out of seven days. With school getting ready to start, everything was shoved to the back burner for several days.

I did manage to find time to do my artist date. I decided to try a craft and made candles this week, which caused me to realize something. When I do something, I do it in a big way. A few hour project, making candles, actually took several days. I couldn’t just make a few candles. I made dozens. I have the same problem with just about every facet of my life. I don’t cook for three. I cook for ten. I don’t do what needs to be done. I overdo what needs to be done. The same thing applies to writing. When I sit down to write, I’m not happy until I’ve written for hours and hours.

Doing these tasks for The Artist’s Way has brought this problem to light, while doing the daily writing, brain dump, has started to show me that I can accomplish something a little at a time. It’s hard to learn this lesson and then keep implementing it. Overdoing things is how I’ve lived for so long that it’s a hard thing to change.

Write or Die is a tool I found through Tweeps (Twitter Peeps) during last years NanoWriMo and I’ve continued to use it. I find it’s a useful tool when you’re stuck or just need to get words down on the page quickly. I have a really bad habit of writing the same sentence or paragraph over and over again, never moving on. Write or Die forces me to keep writing with time limits and punishments. Everything can be fixed, editted, and tinkered with later.

I mostly use it for my daily brain dump pages (basically journal pages), but it comes in handy when my inner editor kicks into hyper drive. So if you find yourself editing as you go along or you just need a push to keep going, give Write or Die a try.

I’ve spent a lot of time and effort researching things that *might* come into play in the book I’ve been working on. While the research is interesting, I know I’ve taken it to the point of stalling.

The scope of the project I’m doing is large and needs research, but where do you draw the line? Research too little or not at all and you’re ill prepared. Research too much and you’re not getting anything on the page. I don’t know where that line is myself, but it feels like stalling now. I can always do more research later, right?

So, I stopped stalling as of today and I’m writing. If you’re stuck in endless research like I am/was, think about what you’re doing. Do you really need it all or are you actually afraid to start writing so you’re stalling yourself where it’s safe?

Stop stalling and start writing!

I did my brain dump pages (morning pages) six out of the seven days this week. I was feeling awful one of the days and just couldn’t make myself do it. I found myself writing about such a variety of things that I can’t really pin down a pattern. I wrote about everything from projects I’m working on to personal issues to mundane matters. I think the brain dump pages are helping to free my mind a little. I’ve found myself both looking forward to writing them and running out of things to write about. We’ll see how it progresses.

For my artist’s date I tried to take a walk. I was going to take a camera and shoot some random pictures along the way, but I didn’t get very far before I started dying in the heat. Realizing I’d forgotten to bring some water with me, I decided to go back home. So, the artist’s date was a bust, but when I got home I started turning pictures I’d taken into backgrounds for the laptop, which was fun. I found a couple of pictures that started some creative juices flowing, so it worked out for the best. Taking a walk in the over 100 degree weather… not my brightest idea. I really felt like taking a walk though.

Some of the tasks we’re supposed to do for the week don’t seem that helpful, but I’m still doing them anyway. It’s possible I’m getting something out of them and don’t realize it. Still, listing things I enjoy doing and then doing one of those things takes away from time I could be spending writing and doing all the have-tos in my life.

Affirmations still feel fake and weird, but today I noticed less objections from my critic/censor. I felt more apathetic about it. Positive step or step towards ignoring it? I’m keeping an open mind.