I did my brain dump pages five out of seven days. With school getting ready to start, everything was shoved to the back burner for several days.

I did manage to find time to do my artist date. I decided to try a craft and made candles this week, which caused me to realize something. When I do something, I do it in a big way. A few hour project, making candles, actually took several days. I couldn’t just make a few candles. I made dozens. I have the same problem with just about every facet of my life. I don’t cook for three. I cook for ten. I don’t do what needs to be done. I overdo what needs to be done. The same thing applies to writing. When I sit down to write, I’m not happy until I’ve written for hours and hours.

Doing these tasks for The Artist’s Way has brought this problem to light, while doing the daily writing, brain dump, has started to show me that I can accomplish something a little at a time. It’s hard to learn this lesson and then keep implementing it. Overdoing things is how I’ve lived for so long that it’s a hard thing to change.

I did my brain dump pages (morning pages) six out of the seven days this week. I was feeling awful one of the days and just couldn’t make myself do it. I found myself writing about such a variety of things that I can’t really pin down a pattern. I wrote about everything from projects I’m working on to personal issues to mundane matters. I think the brain dump pages are helping to free my mind a little. I’ve found myself both looking forward to writing them and running out of things to write about. We’ll see how it progresses.

For my artist’s date I tried to take a walk. I was going to take a camera and shoot some random pictures along the way, but I didn’t get very far before I started dying in the heat. Realizing I’d forgotten to bring some water with me, I decided to go back home. So, the artist’s date was a bust, but when I got home I started turning pictures I’d taken into backgrounds for the laptop, which was fun. I found a couple of pictures that started some creative juices flowing, so it worked out for the best. Taking a walk in the over 100 degree weather… not my brightest idea. I really felt like taking a walk though.

Some of the tasks we’re supposed to do for the week don’t seem that helpful, but I’m still doing them anyway. It’s possible I’m getting something out of them and don’t realize it. Still, listing things I enjoy doing and then doing one of those things takes away from time I could be spending writing and doing all the have-tos in my life.

Affirmations still feel fake and weird, but today I noticed less objections from my critic/censor. I felt more apathetic about it. Positive step or step towards ignoring it? I’m keeping an open mind.

I did my morning pages or “brain dump” pages as I call them every day. Morning pages (brain dump pages) is a tool used to get all of crap out of your head, making it easier to focus on your work. I’ve been exceptionally tired this week, which generally causes me to dump my brain anyway. I have no idea at this point if the brain dump pages are helpful as I’ve had two things happen afterwards; I either find myself dwelling on things I wrote about or the opposite, I let them stay on the page, freed from the torment of my own brain. Hopefully, the more I do it, the more the latter will occur.

Artist dates are periods of time where you do something for yourself, with yourself and your brain. For my artist’s date, I did something I’ve been putting off. I started working on CafePress again. I’ve put so many things ahead of CafePress I often forget about it. I felt like there were other things I should be doing, but it made me feel good to look through some of the better photos I’ve taken. I started wondering if I shouldn’t be doing more with photography. I’m not great, but I sometimes wonder if I could be a great photographer.

Affirmations are a positive statement of belief. In working with affirmations, you turn negative statements that others have said to you or you’ve said to yourself and turn them into positives, then read or say the positives every day. Working with affirmations just feels weird, awkward, and fake. Maybe I’ll feel differently after the twelve weeks are over, but trying to convince myself of something by reading it over and over just feels like I’m trying to self-brainwash. My inner censor or critic just kicks into higher and higher gear and I feel dirty afterwards. I’m not wired to accept brainwashing I guess, not even when it comes from myself.